Wednesday, May 11, 2011

exposed darkness

Before words come out of my mouth, they start as thoughts. Unfortunately sometimes I don’t think about my thoughts before I blurt them out and then I wish I had thought about my thought before I spoke. Are you following me? I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I say. Often times it’s after the fact, but regardless I have been thinking. This thinking has led to a realization of how often I belittle people, things, events, etc. It’s very nonchalant, never super intentional, often carefree and about something that doesn’t really matter. So why do it?

When I get real honest with myself I have to admit something. These small offhand comments show a glimpse into my heart. Ugh. These comments represent a part of my soul that I’d really rather not deal with, I surely wouldn’t want anyone to see and I hope will just change into something lovely on it’s own.

Let’s get real, that isn’t going to happen. (Un)Fortunately things don’t usually change into something lovely on their own. If you plant a flower you need to water and nurture it into bloom. If you buy a puppy you need to train and exercise it into an obedient dog. If you make a friend you need to call and hang out for it to develop into a friendship. Without effort and work on these things, you would simply have a withered colorless weed, an obnoxious four-legged shadow, and a non-existent friendship. So that is why I’m willing to admit this. I don’t want that type of life. I admit I have a dirty soul, I desperately need Jesus and I’m 100% confident He will indeed change me.

I love this verse in Philippians 4:8. It says “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Isn’t that just beautiful? These are the things I am to think about.

This doesn’t mean that I will not have thoughts that are not honoring to God, or that I will not have thoughts of things that annoy, irritate and irk me. No definitely not. I will still think of those things. But as a follower of Jesus I will do this: take my thoughts, compare them to this verse (phil4:8) and then if they don’t compare I will throw them away, seal my lips and move forward.

His light exposes my darkness and it’s a beautiful thing.


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