Friday, October 19, 2012

Turn of events.

It's one of those days..or should I say weeks. The computer crashed (of course, right after I booked 7 photoshoots) so I'm writing this from my iPhone. (Should be interesting). My patience is minimal and my energy low. I put Nevaeh down for a nap, she goes down easily. Then I spend the next 45 minutes getting Selah down. Finally, after getting some gas out she falls asleep. I lay my head on my pillow to try to rest for a few minutes...recharge on this day full of frustration...less than 30 seconds of my head being on the pillow...I hear Nevaeh start to cry. She has awoken! Are you kidding me??! We have family pictures at 5 and I'm not sure I have the energy to gather the flock and attempt to get a picture with us all looking the same direction. I can tell my attitude is lousy and my desire to change it is really only for selfish reasons..I don't like feeling like this.

I'm reminded that patience, love and joy are fruits of the spirit and therefore nothing I can force or fake. I simply need to be a vessel fit for the presence of God to dwell in me. Ba hum bog. I feel like Scrooge right now.

But I don't want to settle! This is no fun so here we go. I may not be able to force or fake patience, joy and love but I know what I can force: my attitude.

So this does not come naturally, but with a sincere heart let me try this again.

Today has been challenging. I welcome you challenge. My hubby has been working a ton and taking a class on the side so my time with him (and away from the girls) is small. God, I am so thankful that my husband has a job. With unemployment rates so high, I'm sorry for grumbling about my husbands busy schedule. You are the great provider and I praise you for that. I praise you that you've blessed my socks off with a husband who is so smart..what a privilege that if I have a question about really anything I could feel equally confident asking Peter as I would asking google.

The terrible twos have debuted in the Zimmer home early..but Lord I'm so thankful that I have a toddler. We have watched three sweet families lose their babies and they would do anything for one tantrum or one meltdown or one more moment with their children. Thank you for my little Nevaeh. She has her moments but more than that she has so many beautiful moments when her heart shines and her sweet personality spills on to those around her.

Thank you for Selah bug. A baby crying can be very frustrating but again I praise you that have blessed us with not just one but two precious little girls.

God I know I can't do this motherhood thing alone. I fail miserably when I try. Thank you that you give us a helper the Holy Spirit. I need you.

Thank you for perspective that comes only from time with you. Dr. Phil has nothing on you Lord! I love you, let my attitude reflect that the rest of this day. Sorry for being a bum earlier. Thank you for forgiveness and grace! Where would I be without it?!

Until we meet again!

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